eternally chaotic

A friend of mine asked me recently if I regretted having two girls or secretly wished that we had both girls and boys.  I have certainly been asked this before, in particular around the time before we knew, or announced, that our second baby was going to be a girl as well.  I don’t really know how to answer the question though.  If I look at the girls and try to think of what would be different were there a boy in the mix, I struggle to find an answer.

Piper and Violet are certainly girls, well Piper is for certain and Violet is just rough and tough and mean – perhaps she is a boy in disguise.  I rarely think of them as such though.  Doing so would only place false limits on what they should or should not do because of their gender.  We play rough, inside and outside, we climb everything, crawl in the grass, get muddy, work in the garage, they get tickled and tackled, they wrestle with me and lately each other, they assault the dog until he takes interest at which point they turn tail lest they be licked.  Now granted that many of these things they might do in the likeness of Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty, Snow White or Belle, they do them nonetheless being girls.

Perhaps the differences at this age are too insignificant and as they get a bit older and are around more girls and boys and start seeing classic roles played out, even in grade school, their attitude and mine might change – I certainly hope that isn’t the case.  I look back and think of the things my dad and I used to do when I was a kid such as work on the car, take care of the yard and house, play football, go fishing, etc…and I can only be excited for the time when I can do the same with the girls.  If I try to think about those experiences to come and how they might be different were one of them a boy I draw a blank, would I bond differently with a him, would I have different expectations, would I push him harder for success, in all case I think not.

Another topic to this conversation typically revolves around carrying on the family name.  I think that such is important but don’t believe that only the men can carry on the name or the traits that make up a family.  In particular as times change and the line between men and women in society blurs I foresee plenty of opportunity for the girls to strengthen their family name as well as make names for themselves.  Their are plenty of examples where men take the woman’s name, a hyphenation occurs, or each party in the relationship keeps their own name.

Piper and Violet spent this past weekend playing with Whitley, Cassidy, and Riley.  Well mainly it was Piper doing the playing and Violet getting dressed up and chased around by the older girls while they called her Ursula.

Saturday was a play date with the Thompson’s and girls spent the afternoon playing at their house.  The main game was obviously “I want to be <insert princess name here>” dressup where each of the girls picked an outfit and various accessories, chased each other around, grouped up and chased Violet and Riley, got bored with dressup and played with toys.  At some point Zana turned on some music, I think she said it was Hewy Lewis, a favorite of Whitley’s rock and roll selection, and all the kids started dancing.  I wish one of us would have had a camera to catch a few pictures of them dancing together.  All in all Saturday was a lot of fun. (more…)

Before Piper was born Missy and I wanted to do something special for her that would last for a lifetime and be something she could share with her kids.  Missy found that the Atlanta Aquarium, when being built, took in donations by allowing the public to invest in a “Fish Scale” that would be displayed prominently on a large digital wall.  The Fish Scales are about the size of a hand and we had Pipers name and birth date inscribed on hers.  Every time we have been back to the aquarium we always take a minute to find her personalized scale.

Violet arrived after the aquarium was built so we have been on the lookout for something similar to honor her with as well.  Missy found that the Duluth town center was repaving their sound stage and much of the funding was found in donations from the public.  In turn for the donation the donor was able to inscribe something onto the brick.  This was the perfect opportunity for us.  During the Fall Festival we purchased a brick with Violet’s name and birth date on it.

Since the work on the square has been ongoing we weren’t sure when the brick might get placed so that we could see it.  Recently I stopped in and found that it had been installed.

Christmas is always fun and has been more than ever as the Girls start learning about giving and receiving gifts…  Who am I kidding!!! Piper couldn’t contain herself to start tearing into presents.  Piper seemed just the right age for starting to really grok opening gifts and watching others do the same.  Violet was a fast learner as well (and had a good teacher in her older sister) and didn’t waste any time tearing off paper and claiming what was hers.

The big gift this year for the girls was a train table.  Complete with all the trimmings this table took nearly two full hours for three adults to assemble and “test”.  It was much to big to wrap so we just put it in the middle of the living room floor with a big bow on it.  Both girls saw it the instant they came into the room and after a moment of asking “did santa bring that for us” they dug in and starting driving trains – a good distraction while coffee and cinnamon rolls were made.  I think for a short while they even…dare I say it…shared!  (more…)

An interesting conversation about marriage keeps coming up with Piper.  She is dead set on getting married to either Conner or Will, both daycare companions.  That idea that she understands what it is to be married fascinates me since she is so young.  Perhaps being a self described “beautiful princess” and entertained by various Walt Disney movies where the princess is always rescued and ultimately married by her handsome prince helps a little as well.

It seems though that even with a three year old there are boundaries about marriage that must be understood and obeyed.  This, on top of just the concept, Missy and I both found intriguing.  We certainly expose her to the movies and the concepts and the princess dresses, etc… but we have not really paid attention to the values that she is picking up from such things.

On a few different occassion, mainly to see if the results of our query would be the same across different conversation, as is often not the case when interrogating a three year old, we decided to inject a current political topic into a conversation about getting married to see how she would respond. (more…)

Piper and Violet were delighted to see Mamma and Pappa for Christmas.  We prepped Piper for about a week prior to get her worked up and anticipating them coming to town to celebrate Christmas with us.  Each year since the we have had the girls they have been in town, insisting on spoiling them moreso than they already are.

Mom and Dad whisked the girls away for a few fun filled days either running around town or looking at the various creatures in the aquarium.  Piper absolutely loves going to the aquarium and Violet is just at the right age where she is, for the most part, easy to manage with an extra pair of hands.

Christmas Eve we spent building a gingerbread house that we never did actually end up eating.  Violet certainly got her fill of the candy though.  Every two or three pieces that made it onto the house were eventually picked off and deposited into her mouth.  (more…)

Piper received a pair of pink princess roller skates from Aunt Autumn for Christmas.  Today was the day she got to try them out.  She reminded us all day that we “promised” a trip to the park so she could skate like Minnie and Daisy, or at least start to learn.  Along with the skates came knee and elbow pads to help on the falls that were sure to happen.  We picked a park with a flat running track as a good starting place.  The temperature was in the low sixties but very windy – there were two guys on the track playing with very large stunt kites.  We bolted the skates onto Piper’s shoes but left off the pads since she would be holding our hands the first few times, or until she was confident enough to think she didn’t need our hands anymore.

It was interesting to see her reaction, and I wish I would have brought the camera.  Walking in the skates didn’t really pose her much of a problem and she was able to move them around as needed for stepping but as soon as one would start to roll it was splitsville each time.  Since she was holding onto either me or Missy during all this she didn’t fall but certainly would have and I think she realized it as well.  After a few mishaps like this, even though they weren’t too bad she was through.  We coerced her to the grass where she kept walking in them, basically just letting her get used to them on her feet before heading home.  Even a little discouraged she still wants to keep practicing.